Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I intend to get homeless drunk
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
