That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
