so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
"it" just moved
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
