i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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