so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
