how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize