come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize