She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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