is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I will be naked everywhere
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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