Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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