Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize