I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
