Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I could fuck to npr.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize