That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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