I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize