apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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