I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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