dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
