We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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