No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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