"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
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