We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
