hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
