i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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