I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
