508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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