i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
