He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
