Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
a search helicopter?!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
