The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
