I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
