I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I didn't notice because vodka
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize