My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
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I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
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I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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