if you like me you must not know who I am
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
