Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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