Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
