Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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