i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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