I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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