i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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