Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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