The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
