I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
