why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
