on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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