pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
