Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
