What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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