Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
