Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
it glows. i had to have it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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