so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
