nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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