the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
farters have to be the big spoon...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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