My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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