why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
