A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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