so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
