Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
where are my eyebrows?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
