That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize