How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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