You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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