the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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