Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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