I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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