Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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